-by Michael Fernandez, Daily Scanner
Phyllis Davis Author, Ethics and Etiquette Expert | Founder, Director American Business Ethics
Over millennia, the handshake has served as a powerful and evolving ritual, adapting to customs and circumstances, including the challenges of COVID-19 in 2020. In the ever-changing world of business etiquette, the handshake remains a key nonverbal symbol, integral to successful professional interactions. As the nuances of the American business handshake continue to evolve with cultural, hierarchical, and pandemic-influenced dimensions, the way we connect and engage in the corporate world is deeply influenced by this silent gesture.
Phyllis E. Davis, ethics and etiquette expert and author of Navigating Virtue, has spent decades observing and analyzing the handshake in all its forms. From handshakes that leave lasting impressions—both good and bad—to those that define professional encounters, Davis breaks down the unspoken significance of the gesture. She categorizes the various types, including overly aggressive “bruisers” who wield handshakes like weapons, and emotionless “lampposts” who offer little more than perfunctory effort. Conversely, the ideal handshake is warm, balanced, and, most importantly, unmemorable. As Davis explains, the goal is for people to remember you, not just your handshake.
Davis recalls her experiences in the late 1970s alongside Ruth Carter Stapleton and Ms. Lillian Carter, mother of President Jimmy Carter. Ms. Lillian, elderly and beloved, required gentle handshakes to avoid injury from overenthusiastic displays of affection. A tag reading, “No hugging, please” humorously solved the issue, underlining how personal circumstances can influence this seemingly universal interaction.
In today’s business world, the handshake serves as a silent negotiation, a “nonverbal version of rock-paper-scissors,” as Davis describes. Deals are often sealed with a firm grip, eye contact, and even a subtle eyebrow flash—a gesture observed across cultures as a sign of trust and attentiveness. Davis recalls passing actor Benicio Del Toro in a Los Angeles crowd, where his signature eyebrow flash left a lasting, albeit fleeting, impression. Such moments illustrate the emotional weight behind nonverbal communication.
Mexico, a handshake may be accompanied by a quick hug; in Italy, it is brief and sometimes followed by kisses on the cheek for close acquaintances. In the United States, a business handshake typically occurs when greeting or saying farewell to external associates, such as clients or partners. It is less common among colleagues who interact daily, except in moments of congratulations or return after an extended absence.
Davis provides practical guidance for mastering the handshake, emphasizing a slow and deliberate approach. Initiate contact with a relaxed arm, ensuring the web of your hand meets the other’s palm before gently wrapping your fingers. Maintain vertical wrists, avoid cupping, and pump slowly three or four times. A measured handshake signals sincerity, whereas quick or overly firm grips can send the wrong message. Eye contact is equally essential, as is verbal acknowledgment. Pronouncing someone’s name while introducing yourself creates a personal connection. “Hello, Jim. My name is Scott Sumpter,” Davis advises, with a smile to complete the gesture.
The importance of inclusivity is not lost in Davis’s approach. She highlights considerations for body positioning, suggesting that women angling slightly while shaking hands with men may promote comfort, while squaring shoulders when greeting other women helps foster trust. The reverse applies for men, ensuring the gesture feels natural and respectful regardless of gender.
Davis’s deep dive into the handshake reveals it as both art and science—a gesture rooted in biology, psychology, and culture. Drawing inspiration from the observations of zoologist Desmond Morris, she notes the “one-sixth of a second eyebrow flash,” a reflexive greeting that signals openness and trust. Whether in corporate boardrooms or bustling social events, such nonverbal cues carry extraordinary weight.
The American handshake, though often overlooked, remains an essential tool in professional settings—a silent yet powerful negotiation that sets the tone for relationships and business outcomes. As Davis aptly puts it, a handshake is more than just a gesture. It is a dance, a connection, and an opportunity to leave a meaningful impression in a world that values the subtleties of human interaction.
Author, Navigating Virtue - Ethics and Etiquette in the American Business Landscape
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